Pretender

I've just realized this when I was writing, but being a pretender is actually an interesting way of living. The definition of a pretender is someone who hides his or her own emotions, and showing another one instead to cope with the current situation around him or her.

While some people think that showing the true self is important, and there are few who are able to do so, being a pretender is actually interesting because there are so many who do so.

Being a pretender means you hide your true self, and the fake one shows up. When you pretend too much, like me, this other person consumes your true self, and the next thing you know, you've lost yourself, and you became this someone else. Others might not be able to perceive though, it's this person they usually see anyway.

It might just be an evolution of the self, but me personally, I start to think the old me was gone. That jealous, zealous, oh-the-entire-world-is-a-trash-can boy. I start to keep all those madness, those words wanting so bad to be shouted out. I know they wouldn't be heard, or they would just be understood, or they'd make me look like a bad guy, so I start keeping them inside.

Oh well, it's not like my emotions really mattered, right? As long as I can make myself look better with this outstretched patience, I'd still be able to take pride in myself.

Isn't that the only thing important?

Tagged (Again2)

... guess who tagged me?

How much of your teenage life have you "messed up?" (btw I'm still a teen)

[x] Gotten kissed
[ ] Gotten a phone taken away in class
[ ] Gotten suspended
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test (I'm so good at cheating that people even think I'm the smart guy giving cheats.)
Total so far: 1

[x] Arrived late to class more than 5 times
[x] Didn't do homework over 5 times
[x] Turned at least 3 projects in late
[x] Missed school just because you felt like it
[x] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class (and for some other reasons too)
Total so far: 6

[x] Got your mom, dad, etc to get you out of school
[x] Text people during class
[x] Passed notes (see, this is the other reason)
[x] Threw stuff across the room (... actually this is how I passed notes)
[x] Laughed at the teacher
Total so far: 11

[x] Been in a fight at school, fist or verbal
[x] Took pictures during school hours (taken, to be exact)
[x] Called someone during school hours
[x] Listened to iPod, CD, etc during school hours
[x] Skipped a class period
Total So Far: 16

[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[x] Went outside the classroom without permission
[x] Broke the dress code
[ ] Failed a class (even with all these stuffs going on)
[x] Ate food during class (Nasi Bungkus + Ice Tea)
Total So Far: 19

[x] Gotten a call from school (thank God I could change my voice to a lower tone)
[ ] Couldn't go on a field trip cause you behaved badly
[x] Didn't take your stuff to school (left them at the locker. ... what?)
[ ] Given a teacher the finger when they weren't looking
[x] Curse during class/school (dude, it's an all-boys school. what do you expect?)
Total so far: 22

[ ] Faked your parents signature (so damn hard to do)
[X] Slept in class (everyone knows me for this one)
[ ] Cursed at your teacher (hey I actually respect them!)
[X] Copied homework (everytime)
[ ] Got in trouble with the principal-the vice principal
Total So Far: 24

Multiply by 3

Grand total: 72%